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The Silent Womb

This is a subject very near to countless women. Through the years so many tears have been shed for the wee babe that went on to be with the Lord. 

There's the frightened mother feeling the pressure to end her baby's life through abortion. The silence next to her heart is deafening; but for the silent tears never leaving her.

The womb is barren there is no life present, the hot tears of disappointment falls afresh at the sight of new mothers holding their babies.

Many women have told me of their heartache at losing a baby, whether from miscarriage, abortion or death after birth.

It was over thirty years ago, when after a long wait I was able to conceive our second child.  Our daughter was five years old, and I had wanted another baby from the time she was three months old. 

This was my second marriage and I wanted to give my new husband a baby of his blood; even though he took my daughter as his own. Plus I wanted a housefull of children; about four or five babies was what I wanted.

But I found out I was expecting when I went to the doctor for the extreme pain in my lower back. He told me that my body was trying to miscarry. 

The pain went on for about another month. I tried desperately to hold that baby, but my body just couldn't hold it, and finally it died and dissolved within my body. 

The emotional pain was more then I could handle. My heart was broken and not knowing the Lord at that time, I had nothing to hold onto, except my poor young husband, and our little girl. 

For about five years I fought depression, and hysteria as time passed with no sign of having another baby. I was an emotional wreck, with no way of finding help, or so I thought. 

When I did finally accept Jesus Christ as my savior, He began a healing of my emotions. 

I continued to grieve not being with child, until one day I realized when I was in my late thirties that I  didn't want to have a new baby at that time in my life.    

Through out the years I have seen why the Lord didn't give us another child. Our ministry being what it is, having more children would've been very difficult on all of us.  Plus my being ill with Lupus, the last thing I needed was a house full of children.

My point being, the Lord knows what He is doing, and we need to honestly and completely turn this over to Him. I know this sounds easier then it really is, but it is important. 

When we give ourselves to the Lord, we have to trust Him to take care of us, in everything.  We can and will find fruit  in everything that happens to us, even the most unimaginable.

Dear Sister's, you that had an abortion, you are now saved and it's under the Blood of Jesus. This sin and yes it is sin to take a life, is in the past and you are wiped clean.  Now you must learn to forgive yourself, if you haven't done so before now.  We have all done things that we'd never even consider today.

Sisters, our babies are waiting for us in glory! I don't believe they are still babies, but people in their prime; and they will know us when we come.  What a wonderful day that will be. Not only are we going to see the Lord Jesus Christ, and all our friends and family, but our babies too! Glory to God!

It won't be long now, and He will come for His bride.

I know the pain is strong, the Lord knows this too, I wish there was a single word I could say and the terrible pain would leave you alone. 

As we fill  ourselves with the Word of God and His will for our lives, the pain will become less until it goes; and in it's place will be a peace, and acceptance.

Lam 3:22-26
22. It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. 23. They are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness.  24.  The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. 25.  The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.  26. It is good that man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. 

Verse 26 is speaking of patience.. we need to learn to wait on Him and trust Him to know what's best for us and the spreading of His Word.  Everything we experience can be used to help other Christians as well as for bringing in new souls to be saved. 

If you'll notice the word LORD in these scriptures are in caps .. meaning LORD as in master. We are to make him LORD, this is not the same as Lord. LORD is meaning we are to give everything over to Him, even our deepest pain ...

Ecc 11:4
He that observeth the wind shall not sow; and he that regardeth the clouds shall not reap.

Father, you know the broken hearts & the fevered emotions, touch them I pray, calming the storms that tear at the soul.  Peace I speak now in the name of Jesus; peace be still. Abba speak to each heart, showing the inner emotions the reality that the babies are safe in your hand, never having known the fear of sin, but having always known the pure glory of living in your presence. Thank you Father for your love and healing touch. I pray my words are anointed of you and these words will bring a comfort. I love you. come quickly LORD for your bride, we are waiting for you, thank you in Jesus name.  Amen

I need to make a statement here concerning abortion:  please understand that in no way do I agree with abortion, under any circumstances. I am addressing the pain of a woman having had an abortion prior to salvation.

I love you,  Carol
"An angel once lay 'neath my heart,
       A promise of life to come;
My little babe, was resting there,
Yet, would not follow me home."

Excerpt from poem "Angel" by
Allison Chambers Coxsey